Alpha and Omega

December 23, 2010 at 8:00 am (Recognizing Reality)

I used to frequent an online message board for women planning their weddings, and encountered a girl who was planning to marry a motor in a major city about an hour south of us. As I said in my first post, I had read I Love a Cop and a not-so-known fact about cops is that they have an average of THREE marriages. THREE. I am the Alpha Wife (MC would completely agree!), and if MC and I have any say in it, I’ll be the Omega Wife as well.

This other young woman, as excited as the rest of the Soon-To-Be’s were, wanted to hear nothing of the book I so highly recommended. I remember asking if she had read it, and she was so aghast at the thought of having to “study” how to be married to a cop. When I went to the funeral of that officer (also mentioned in the first post), I came back to the board to tell my fellow LEO S-T-B’s to hug their loves extra tight that night, she was appalled!

She told me that she didn’t like to think or talk about the possibility of her Motor riding down the highway, and being an easy target for some schmuck with a gun to take aim on because he just doesn’t like cops. So, they didn’t talk about it. Ever.

They never got married. I wonder if her unwillingness to talk about the realities of her Motor’s chosen profession had anything to do. I also wonder if that “close call” counts as #1 for him, even though they never walked down the aisle.

With that said, that’s why I am Alpha AND Omega. MC knows he can share anything with me. He can bitch and moan about the politics that is the nature of the “ranks” game. He can laugh about a funny stop. He can cry over a fallen comrade. He can be himself without fear of judgement, because I married the man AND the badge. MC is the man I married BECAUSE of the badge, and it would be incomprehensible for me to expect him to not talk about something that is in his very soul.

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4 Comments

  1. RebeccaJ said,

    I would think that if someone had done enough research on a subject to write a book about it, it might be worth looking into, as the writer might have gained important insights about officers along the way. The mere fact that their lifestyles are so different from the average working Joe’s might also be an indication that it would be smart to be prepared for what lies ahead. But you know some people never read the instruction manuals:)

    • Ann T. Hathaway said,

      Dear Ms. MC,
      I don’t totally agree with Rebecca J–there are some stupid books out there–but I’m willing to believe the book you keep recommending is a good one. Anyway, study is always good.

      I think that fiance-to-be’s unwillingness to talk about the reality of the job is a very bad sign. Furthermore, it adds to her future husband’s stress. She’s a child pretending to be grown up. And there’s not much leeway for pretending in a marriage, much less in a LEO marriage.

      Home is where you go to be real–and marriage is to me the place where the most real relationship can flourish. Just as you said. Congratulations on your good marriage. That’s always great to see.

      Ann T.

  2. Daws said,

    MC is a lucky man.

  3. Six said,

    I’m a retired 24 year veteran police officer. I got extremely lucky when I convinced my lovely spouse to marry me lo those 32 years ago (and counting). One of the things I knew and convinced Lu of was emotional preparation for ‘The Call’. She recieved a few small calls but, thankfully, never the big one. She was as prepared as we could make her. She refused to bury her head in the sand. She faced the possibility of me not making it home bravely, with her head up and her eyes open. It actually made the small calls easier because she understood how bad it could have been.
    Lu did indeed read that book and we made sure we talked about what could happen. She knew my wishes and understood, deep in her heart, who I was and why I made the career choice I did. She wouldn’t have had it any other way. She loved who I was and the way I approached life and even death. She was always proud of me and I was always proud of her. Still am. Yep, she was a Cops Wife, a damn good one. Proud, independant, resourceful and always there for me. My rock and my anchor.
    I sense a lot of Lu in you Mrs. MC and your fine husband is indeed lucky to have you by his side. Please pass on to him the compliments of this former Motor and know that Lu and I are keeping the both of you in our hearts and prayers.

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